Sometimes simple tools are the best and most effective tools. No matter what mental health or relational issue someone comes to counseling to address, I almost always teach the HALT acronym during treatment. It is a quick, helpful tool borrowed from the recovery community to remember four physical and emotional states that lower distress tolerance. It stands for
hungry, angry, lonely, and tired and serves as a reminder to check in with each of these basic stressors (to stop or “halt”) before turning to alcohol or drugs to regulate. Beyond sobriety, the acronym is a tool for general emotional regulation and self-care. We are less likely to make impulsive decisions and engage in destructive behaviors when satiated, calm, connected, and rested. When basic needs go unmet and under the radar, we may think we need a drink or pornography or a spending spree to calm our nervous systems, when actually, there is something more basic, but not always obvious, needed that when addressed, leads to longer-term well-being and relational effectiveness.
The next time you feel irritable or overwhelmed, HALT and ask:
“Am I hungry?”
Food impacts not only how we feel but how we function. Blood sugar drops lead to mood swings and brain fog. Choose to eat and eat well. Care for yourself through nutritious foods and proper hydration. Many times, my “caffeine to food ratio” has gotten off, and it never brings out the best in me.
Food impacts not only how we feel but how we function. Blood sugar drops lead to mood swings and brain fog. Choose to eat and eat well. Care for yourself through nutritious foods and proper hydration. Many times, my “caffeine to food ratio” has gotten off, and it never brings out the best in me.
“Am I angry?”
Experiencing anger is part of being human. Learning how to manage anger is part of maturity. I once heard of someone learning how in times of strong anger, the brain experiences an “amygdala hijack” where the emotional “feeling” center of the brain takes over while the logical, “thinking” center of the brain (the prefrontal cortex) goes off-line. He responded, “Oh, so when I get mad, I get stupid.” It is a stark explanation, but also, a good one. This is not to say we are stupid for getting mad. There are times it is right, necessary, just, and unavoidable to get angry. Our responsibility comes in managing our anger and doing what it takes to pursue calm and clarity, in order to bring our “thinking” brain back on-line, guiding us toward intentionality rather than reactivity. This could look like going for a walk; lifting weights; grabbing a journal; praying; practicing a grounding exercise; focusing on deep breathing; talking to a trusted friend; or listening to soothing music.
Experiencing anger is part of being human. Learning how to manage anger is part of maturity. I once heard of someone learning how in times of strong anger, the brain experiences an “amygdala hijack” where the emotional “feeling” center of the brain takes over while the logical, “thinking” center of the brain (the prefrontal cortex) goes off-line. He responded, “Oh, so when I get mad, I get stupid.” It is a stark explanation, but also, a good one. This is not to say we are stupid for getting mad. There are times it is right, necessary, just, and unavoidable to get angry. Our responsibility comes in managing our anger and doing what it takes to pursue calm and clarity, in order to bring our “thinking” brain back on-line, guiding us toward intentionality rather than reactivity. This could look like going for a walk; lifting weights; grabbing a journal; praying; practicing a grounding exercise; focusing on deep breathing; talking to a trusted friend; or listening to soothing music.
“Am I lonely?”
Loneliness contributes to stress, anxiety, and depression. We are simply not meant to do life alone. Because we can sometimes feel alone when we are with other people, the question to address loneliness may not be, “Am I around people?” (although, that is a great start) as much as, “Am I known by the people I am around?” Being unknown is what leads to feelings of isolation and relational dis-ease. To combat loneliness, pursue being known by reaching out to trusted friends and family members; joining a support group, local church, or another type of intentional community; or starting with a counselor. Each of these places you in environments to practice self-disclosure, which is the only way to be known and experience connection.
Loneliness contributes to stress, anxiety, and depression. We are simply not meant to do life alone. Because we can sometimes feel alone when we are with other people, the question to address loneliness may not be, “Am I around people?” (although, that is a great start) as much as, “Am I known by the people I am around?” Being unknown is what leads to feelings of isolation and relational dis-ease. To combat loneliness, pursue being known by reaching out to trusted friends and family members; joining a support group, local church, or another type of intentional community; or starting with a counselor. Each of these places you in environments to practice self-disclosure, which is the only way to be known and experience connection.
“Am I tired?”
Anyone who has taken care of a toddler knows that a good nap can be like a personality-transplant. Anyone who has had to pull an all-nighter for school or work knows lack of sleep takes a serious toll on overall functioning, energy, and brain power. Everything suffers when we are physically fatigued and run-down. Be mindful of your “sleep hygiene” and prioritize rest. Adequate sleep is a game changer in how we show up for and experience life.
Anyone who has taken care of a toddler knows that a good nap can be like a personality-transplant. Anyone who has had to pull an all-nighter for school or work knows lack of sleep takes a serious toll on overall functioning, energy, and brain power. Everything suffers when we are physically fatigued and run-down. Be mindful of your “sleep hygiene” and prioritize rest. Adequate sleep is a game changer in how we show up for and experience life.
The next time you wonder where your distress tolerance went, you may be able to find it with a good snack, a good walk, a good friend, and a good nap. Happy HALTing!