Courtney Van Acker M.A., LPC, NCC, Licensed Professional Counselor
“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos
into order, confusion into clarity…it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and
creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie
The pain and challenges of life often create in us a pull to be cynical. Our psyches can be
wired to actually filter out positive information in favor of what is negative, difficult, or less
than ideal about our lives, a process which is called negative mental filtering. Some of this is
naturally ingrained and necessary for survival, such as being intensely aware of any threat in
our environments so we can keep track of anything that may be threatening and make active
decisions to either defend ourselves and/or flee from potential threats.
Too often in our modern day, civilized age however, we apply these survival strategies in situations that are
not life or death, but rather simply a less than ideal circumstance, such as receiving criticism
from an employer or not getting the grade you wanted on a test. What used to be adaptive
and critical for the continuation of the human race has turned into a process that actually
holds us back from living out our fullest potential and truly enjoying our lives. A daily
practice that can help with negative mental filtering is actively pursuing gratitude in our
everyday lives, even when life gets messy, complicated, and tiring.
Gratitude can be defined as making a conscious, active decision to focus on what is good,
uplifting, positive, and hopeful in your life rather than focusing on the things in your life that
are threatening to tear you down and steal your joy. Amidst life’s most stressful
circumstances, there is always something to be grateful for. The key is to find what those
things are and retrain your brain to focus on those things in order to help reorient yourself
out of despair and into the healing and transformative power of hope. Rather than just
focusing on a concept that may seem too broad and abstract to be practical and able to be
applied to day to day life, there are some simple and effective ways to begin practicing
gratitude in your life.
1. Keep a gratitude journal
Starting a daily routine of writing down some key things that you are grateful for is an
excellent way to begin to see the benefits of practicing gratitude. What you write down could
be as simple or as complex of ideas that you want, all the way from simple joys to broader
life concepts and trends that you have seen in your life. It may be helpful to set aside a
special time and place in your house or somewhere else that feels safe and comfortable for
you to journal to make the time as special and meditative as it can be. Rather than a chore
that you feel like you have to do, view as something to look forward to that you GET to do.
2. Focus and celebrate small victories and blessings in your life rather than solely
celebrating major accomplishments or life transitions
Sometimes the smallest accomplishments can mean the most to us and they
usually will add up to accomplishing larger goals and fully realizing your hopes and
dreams. Baby steps are so important in the process of healing and growth. It’s also
important to recognize the little things in your life that make it worth living, and keep
track of those things so you can have visual indications that there are things about life
that make it worthwhile and valuable, even in the midst of hard times.
3. Talk to friends and family about what makes you grateful and excited
Many times conversations with friends and family can be more reflective of
complaints and negativity than positive aspects of life. It is important for your time
with others to be life-giving and uplifting and reenergizing for your mind and spirit.
Bonding with others over what you are grateful for is an excellent way to practice
gratitude and will probably encourage the other person too.
4. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is a key skill when applying gratitude to your life. It is important to be
mindful and self-reflective and take time out of your day to focus on all of the good
things in your life. Mindfulness can look like taking a mindful, meditative gratitude
walk where you intentionally look and point out things that make you feel grateful
and provide a source of comfort, such as the warmth of the sun, the chirping of birds,
or the reassuring presence of a beloved pet who accompanies you on your walk. If you
are spiritually inclined, mindfulness can look like setting time aside for prayer and
spending quiet time with God, or moving your body during a yoga session. However
you prefer to practice it, mindfulness is a quintessential part of mental, emotional,
spiritual, and physical health.
5. Volunteer and give back
Voluntarily giving your time, energy, and even money to other people is an excellent
way to establish a deeper sense of gratitude and connectedness. Giving to others brings
about a sense of fulfillment and meaning in your life that can help you gain perspective on
your own problems and also be influential in the lives of other people who are also
struggling.
Overall, gratitude is an immensely powerful force that, when implemented well, can have
profound and lasting effects on your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.
Although it can be difficult, practicing gratitude during times of trouble and hardship can
help make your journey towards healing and recovery more impactful and meaningful. Here
at St. Charles Counseling, we are here for you during your best and worst moments.
Speaking with a counselor who you can trust and be vulnerable with can definitely help you
gain the perspective and insight that it may take in order to implement the gratitude
techniques discussed above and have them become a habitual, healthy practice in your life.